Something Moldy That Way Goes
-Matt Kennedy & Noah Salasnek

What happens when you drink the water in Mexico?  Walk through 
the ghetto alone, at night?  Go see a Fungus show?  You take chances.

The Fungus has arrived and it's sweeping through towns like the 
plague. This star studded group has its eyes set on the big time.  
They wrote 6 songs and headlined at 4 large venues. Since then 
they've added 3 songs and are on there way to cut a few tracks.  
These guys aren't messing around, they mean to inflect some lethal 
sound on the unsuspecting music scene.
   
I met up with the band at Palm's house in South lake. They were 
getting ready for a show when I tried to get some info from them.  
The band doesn't usually allow interviews, but gave Heckler an exclusive.

Heckler Magazine:  So who are the members of Fungus?
Palm Dog:   Well ah Bob Klein is on drums.  Brad Holmes is bass.  Dan  
(Poz)  Pozniak is lead.  And I sing.

H.M   What kind of music

Brad Holmes:   Punk

P.D   Hey Salaz, you call any chicks for tonight?

Noah Salasnek: Yeah Dori is suppose to bring some friends.

P.D   Is she bringing that one...Jen?
N.S   Yep

Jeff Toland:   Hey Palm you got any mags?

P.D   Yeah there's some new dirty one's on the rack.
B.H   Any one bring beer?

N.S   Yeah in the fridge, go easy.
J.T   Here's one, I'm going to the head.
H.M   So who are your influences?
P.D   No one, were going big.

Bob Klein:   Hey Heckler, wanna head out back?

H.M  Yeah, we're over this.

Noah takes over the interview at this point, and we're not sure 
where the thin line between fact and fiction is from here on out, or 
on the AV interview either.   Ed.

N.S.  Hey Palm, what's all this business about big feet?
P.D.  Ease up buddy.

N.S.  Why did you try to milk me for four G's on the van that you rolled?
P.D.  Cause you're the bald turkey that was supposed to drive

N.S.  What's up with Simon Woodstock, is he in your band?
P.D.  He sent me some sample lyrics but we'll have NUN of that. I 
      figure one clown is better than two.

N.S.  Who do you respect for snowboarding?
P.D.  Noah Salasnek, He's the best. Let's talk about motoing you bald fucker.

N.S.  All right then.
P.D.  I'm so bad, I'm the Palm Dog. I do big transfers.

N.S.  Are you friends with Chris Roach?
P.D.  Yeah, he taught me grassers. No, I'm just kidding, I invented 
      that move and it's called the "Palm-Air," but he's pretty rad, he's got 
      the new school skate style bro.

H.M.  So you ride at Boreal right?
P.D.  No, I ski at Kirkwood or Heavenly with Glen Plake you idiot, get 
      it straight. The only time I snowboard is at contests, and I win.

N.S.  Yeah, I've seen your run, Palm-Air, lein air, b-side air, air to fakie (method), melon cab, f-side 540. Victory, right.
P.D.  I'm gonna kick your ass you bald bitch.

N.S.  Dude, you know I'm kidding. Whore, you're my mentor, blood.

Aaron Vincent: Hey Palm, can you show me how to lick butt?

P.D.  What?
A.V.  I'm just kidding, I know how.

N.S.  What's up with people calling you Pepper?
P.D.  Uh? I don't know, I guess I look like a german shepard, but my girl Rachel calls me a burning hunk of desire.

N.S.  I've heard through the grapevine that you've been riding your mountain bike a lot.
P.D.  Yeah, I've been staying healthy.

N.S.  In spandex shorts?
P.D.  What?

N.S.  Ahh-Haa!
J.T.  I'll kill you.
P.D.  What?
J.T.  Just kidding (Jeff runs off)

N.S.  Palm, why do you gurn me for getting on Sims?
P.D.  Because you're weasling my board sales bitch.

N.S.  Dude, you got a house with red carpet, Caddilacs, motos, chicks, and a band. What are you worried about?
P.D.  Aw, nothin'. I'm just kidding I guess.