Since
1985 the Dwarves have instilled fear into the hearts of millions.
This elusive group of hellspawn has surfaced many times over
the years and unleashed its unique brand of punk rock on unsuspecting
fans. The Dwarves embody all that is punk. They don’t care
what you think when they only play a ten minute set and send
the crowd into a murderous frenzy. They don’t care if you
like their records, or even understand what they are trying
to achieve through their music. They just want to go on stage
and wreak havoc on some podunk town and get the hell off stage.
At one time or another they’ve managed to piss off managers,
record labels, the PMRC, fans, club owners, band mates and girlfriends,
but their (black) magic prevails and draws listeners ever closer
with every album.
It’s so hard to pin point what draws people to this band
that it is almost maddening. Why would anyone go see a band
that is known for their public nudity, open drug abuse and notoriously
short live shows? I heard that the longest set they’ve
ever played was 36 minutes, and the shortest was 6 minutes.
Before researching the Dwarves for this article I had no idea
about the size of their fanbase. I’ve been listening to
them for the past 3 years, but had never caught one of their
shows until recently. I just thought they had a small following
of die hard fans who saw them when, and if, they toured. I dug
a little deeper only to realize they are fucking huge! They
sell out shows all over the country with little to no mention
in the mainstream media. They’ve turned down touring offers
with bands like Marilyn Manson and Hole, because they didn’t
want to be an opening band they wanted to be the headliner.
It seems like any punker worth his salt has heard of the Dwarves,
but no one really knows anything about them.
It was hard to dig up any real history of the band. I knew they
started in the mid-80’s and have played their evil rock
ever since. The only press I could find on them were hilarious
accounts of bizarre on-stage antics and riotous fans. When I
got the chance to finally meet singer, Blag Dahlia, I was surprised
by his normalcy. He seemed like your standard mid-30’s
punk rock singer; very eloquent in his responses to my boring
questions and quite animated about the success of the Dwarves
and their place in the music industry. When asked to compare
the Dwarves with other bands, Blag replied,
According to Blag, the mission of the Dwarves has always been,
“…To get laid, that is why I play music, and I do
an admirable job at it.”
Their reputation is legendary. They are so notorious for pulling
off the unimaginable that in April of 1993 they did. One day
an executive at Sub Pop Records received word that the Dwarves
longtime guitarist, aptly named Hewhocannotbenamed, was killed
in a bar fight in Philadelphia. This detailed letter read like
a police report, with a full account of the incident, and even
an address in Wisconsin where grieving fans could send their
condolences. For a few months the Dwarves had everyone fooled,
until Hewho’s friends started spotting him around town.
It was obviously a hoax, but what a hoax it was! The Dwarves
have pulled off the publicity stunt of the decade all in the
name of media manipulation. The
people at Sub Pop didn’t quite share the Dwarves humorous
outlook on the incident and promptly dropped the band from their
label. The following is a quote from a Sub Pop press release
about the fake death: “When we discovered it was a hoax,
we accepted Blag’s defense that it was media exploitation,
and at very least a long-overdue spark of something remotely
interesting in a supposedly ‘alternative’ music scene
that, as recently evidenced by Lollapalooza, has become a staid,
corporate, and boring as the institutions it originally sought
to shatter. While all of the aforementioned may be true, it
is also true that the whole ordeal unforgivably overstepped
the bounds of media manipulation and self-promotion.”
The Dwarves have always done what they want the way they want.
Thriving on shock value and evil lyrics, the band’s reputation
grows stronger with every album. Their live shows are amazing.
As soon as Hewho and Blag hit the stage, the mayhem begins.
Without saying more than 10 words to the crowd, the Dwarves
explode into their set. The intensity in the eyes of Blag is
hypnotizing, as he eggs the crowd on with hand gestures and
crowd surfing. Many fans can’t take their eyes off of Hewho’s
skinny, naked, six-foot frame, and he lays down silky rhythms,
while wearing only Army boots and a wrestling mask. Before you
know it drummer Vadge Moore is jumping around destroying his
drum kit, and the show is over. What? That’s it? How can
the most intense show of my life only have lasted 20 minutes?
With animalistic live shows, and an insane history behind them,
the Dwarves seem to be unstoppable. And with their jump to Epitaph
Records in 1998, it seems the Dwarves will be around for many
years to come, barring natural disaster or actual death, of
course. The have just completed a new album, entitled “The
Dwarves Come Clean,” slated to be released on Epitaph in
February 2000.
There is no stopping the Dwarves reign of terror, so you might
as well join it. For more information about the Dwarves check
out www.thedwarves.com.
Since
1985 the Dwarves have instilled fear into the hearts of millions.
This elusive group of hellspawn has surfaced many times over
the years and unleashed its unique brand of punk rock on unsuspecting
fans. The Dwarves embody all that is punk. They don’t care
what you think when they only play a ten minute set and send
the crowd into a murderous frenzy. They don’t care if you
like their records, or even understand what they are trying
to achieve through their music. They just want to go on stage
and wreak havoc on some podunk town and get the hell off stage.
At one time or another they’ve managed to piss off managers,
record labels, the PMRC, fans, club owners, band mates and girlfriends,
but their (black) magic prevails and draws listeners ever closer
with every album.
The
people at Sub Pop didn’t quite share the Dwarves humorous
outlook on the incident and promptly dropped the band from their
label. The following is a quote from a Sub Pop press release
about the fake death: “When we discovered it was a hoax,
we accepted Blag’s defense that it was media exploitation,
and at very least a long-overdue spark of something remotely
interesting in a supposedly ‘alternative’ music scene
that, as recently evidenced by Lollapalooza, has become a staid,
corporate, and boring as the institutions it originally sought
to shatter. While all of the aforementioned may be true, it
is also true that the whole ordeal unforgivably overstepped
the bounds of media manipulation and self-promotion.”