48
Hours with Alkaline Trio
Words: Brad Oates
Photos: Chris Carnel
The interview seemed normal up until the point Alkaline Trio
bassist Dan Adriano stormed into the tour bus like a paranoid
schizophrenic and proclaimed, “I just got busted by the
door guy for weed. He patted me down. I was so high, I was like,
‘What are you doing?’ He kept trying to touch me,
but I just kept repeating, ‘I’m in the band, I’m
in the band’ and made a quick dash for the tour bus. I
think he’s following me.” Athough a bunch of stoners
can quickly become paranoid in a hairy situation, all in attendance
remained calm. While lead singer/guitarist Matt Skiba flipped
the blinds and checked for narcs, drummer Mike Femulee made
sure the door of the freshly hotboxed tour bus remained locked
and smoky. Luckily, the door guy suffered from short-term memory
loss; he never came knocking.
I spent 48 hours rocking, rolling joints and skating ramps across
Northern California with Alkaline Trio. Only six months previously,
while working at Boreal Ski Resort, my friend Aletta slipped
a copy of 1999’s Maybe I’ll Catch Fire into my discman.
It was literally the best album I’d heard all year. Loud
and melodic, the trio had created some of the most passionate
punk jams I’d heard since a band from Berkeley (who also
shared the love for the herb) came of age in the early 90’s.
Within a week I had all of the band’s CD’s and was
asking everyone if they’d heard them yet. After witnessing
Alkaline Trio play an amazing set to a soldout crowd at Gilman
Street in Berkeley, everyone involved with the tour ended up
back at my friend Ben’s house to get drunk and even drunker.
It was Ben’s birthday. Within minutes of meeting singer
Matt Skiba, we we’re discussing our favorite places to
snowboard and where the best skateparks are in the Golden State.
My speech began to slur and after my oh-shit-I-stopped-counting-hours-ago
Pabst, drummer Mike Femulee suggested we go skateboarding the
next day. So we did. We went to the Heckler office to skate
the quarter pipe. Mike grew up skating the harsh winters in
Chicago and he listed the infamous Turf Skatepark in Milwaukee
as one of his favorites to skate. Mike skated with the same
fire and intensity he displays on the drums. We didn’t
stop skating till sweat stains were fully visible. I even took
him to my house for his first shower in a week and introduced
him to my mom. We found time to go to In & Out because they
don’t have those anywhere east of Arizona. Somehow through
all the drinks, drugs and skateboarding we found time to sit
down, get incredibly baked in the sweltering Sacramento sun
and conduct an interview. Introducing three of the nicest and
funniest guys you will ever meet. Ladies and gentlemen sober
up, it is time for Alkaline Trio. The tape recorder starts now.
Heckler:
You guys have all skateboarded since you were ten. Did skating
come first or the music?
Matt: I got into bands because of skateboarding. I played piano
and saxophone growing up, but I didn’t really get into
music tell I started reading Thrasher and seeing all the punk
rock bands. I found out about The Misfits from Steve Caballero
wearing their shirt. I saw Replacement ads and Descendent stuff
and I went out and bought those records and I love those bands
now. Heckler: How has the skateboarding been going on this tour?
Matt: Mike and I have been skating when we can. I’ve cracked
two skateboards on this tour, and it’s only been two weeks.
I cracked two in the week before we left for this tour. I cracked
an Element, a Black Label, some unknown brand, and I just got
an Andrew Reynold’s Birdhouse board and I cracked it. We
saw Muska when we were in Osaka, Japan just walking down the
street and Muska was busting these huge gaps. It was crazy;
Muska was like the only American we saw the whole time in Japan.
Heckler: How is Chicago?
Matt: Chicago is a lot of fun. Big skate scene, lots of skaters. Heckler: Are you saying that because Heckler is a skate mag?
Matt: Yeah, I love skaters! Go buy the new record man! Alkaline
Trio is great skate music; it’s really extreme. Mike rollerblades
to our stuff all the time.
Heckler: Mike can you rollerblade?
Mike: No, I don’t even know how. I skate, I can’t
rollerblade-fuck that shit. The rollerbladers at the park by
my house, I just bowl ‘em over. Get out of the fucking
way kids, I’m coming through. Rollerbladers are similar
to cockroaches. Heckler: Where do you snowboard around Chicago?
Mike: It’s kind of snowboarding; there are some parks and
stuff. It’s mainly landfills and garbage dumps covered
with snow. Heckler: Do you have a favorite landfill that you snowboard?
Mike: They’re all the same pretty much. Alpine Valley is
pretty decent. The snow is shitty, but it’s better than
not riding. Wisconsin has some really good parks and pipes.
I try and go out West once a year but I didn’t ride all
this year unfortunately. Heckler: I heard you guys cranked this next album out like
tweakers.
Matt: Fast, real fast.
Dan: Yeah, maybe a little too fast.
Matt: We wrote the whole record in 2 weeks. I was writing two
songs in a day. It was totally shotgunned. Look for it on our
new label, Vagrant. Heckler: Does alcohol play a big part in the creative process?
Matt: Occasionally. Sometimes when I’m really fucked up
I’ll write a good song, but usually when I’m really
drunk I can’t even hold a pick. Heckler: Would you consider yourself an alcoholic?
Matt: Yes. Beer-aholic. I don’t really like hard alcohol
but I love drinking beer. Heckler: What’s your favorite beer?
Matt: Old Style, it’s pretty much exclusive to the Midwest.
They serve it at Cubs games; it’s a Chicago beer.
Dan: No, it’s out of Milwaukee.
Matt: It is now, Miller bought them out. Heckler: Any girls ever been pissed about the experiences
that you relate in your songs?
Matt: No. I think a lot of times people assume the songs are
about girls when they really aren’t. Most of my songs aren’t
even about relationships, I guess there just metaphoric. The
songs aren’t always what they may seem. Heckler: Now Dan when you write a song you sing it and Matt
does the same?
Dan: Yes, but I don’t know how much singing I am going
to be doing tonight.
Matt: I started off this tour in his shape and we’ve swapped
roles.
Dan: We’ve got terrible luck as a touring band.
Matt: Health wise I lose my voice every tour. Heckler: Do you think it’s maybe the alcohol?
Matt: It’s possible (laughter). It’s definitely there
all the time. Heckler: Mike you said onetime that the calluses on your
hands opened up midset and blood started flowing like Jesus
on the cross. Where do you draw the line, when you lose a pint?
Mike: Yeah, it was total Stigmata style. I’d draw the line
if maybe I were puking or shitting myself. Heckler: Have you ever been onstage and had diarrhea?
Matt: Actually last night when we played at Gilman St. I had
to shit really bad. It was fine once the adrenaline kicked in,
but there were a few minutes where there was no place I could
go and it was time to play and I was a little nervous that I
was going to shit myself. I’d be just rocking out and a
turd falls out of my pant leg. Heckler: What’s the longest you’ve gone on tour
without a shower?
Mike: I’ve gone along time.
Matt: The longest I’ve gone is 2-3 days. I can’t handle
it, I smell way too bad.
Mike: I once went 15 days when the Popes were out with Jawbreaker
and that was deliberately. We had hotel rooms everyday, but
I just didn’t want to take a shower. Heckler: What do you like to write songs about?
Matt: I don’t know I write a lot of songs about death. Heckler: Are you scared of death?
Matt: Yeah, a little bit, but at the same time it totally intrigues
me. I think if there wasn’t death than you couldn’t
appreciate life. I definitely feel that I’m living my life
to its full potential being in a band and being able to travel. Heckler: What’s the most scary fucking thing that’s
ever happened to you?
Dan: It was on a tour with my previous band, Slapstick. We had
this shitty drive from Florida to Kansas, and we stopped in
Alexandria, Louisiana. I don’t recommend that you ever
go there. The Motel 6 we stopped at was the crack kingdom of
Louisiana. Every room had something different-prostitution,
guns, crack. Me and my friend Peter somehow ended up in some
room with a guy named Pee-Wee who sold knives. We went around
the corner of the motel because we were going to smoke a joint
with him and when we rounded the corner there were truckloads
of rednecks. They started making fun of us, they were fucking
sick. One redneck was like; “You boys like to suck dick
or just hold it in your mouths till it comes?” We ran.
Then, we got in a fight with our bandmate because we were smoking
in our non-smoking room. I was like, “No one gives a fuck
if we smoke in this room-we’re in hell.” Heckler: Is life on the road good?
Matt: I love it. The first couple of days are really weird,
but after that I feel at home. We try and get away from the
club, go skateboarding or just venture out. It feels weird to
stay in any place for a significant amount of time now.
Mike: By the end of the year we’ll have played 200 shows.
That’s more than 50% of the year on the road. Any other
job that would take up 50% of your life would suck. Heckler: Does the future look bright?
Matt: Absolutely. We’ve always really tried to take baby
steps. People really started to like our band quickly, and more
and more people continue to come and see us as it continues
to grow. I am totally content with where we are, but if we got
super huge I wouldn’t complain either. For me, I just try
and get the most out of everyday and have fun. You kind of jinx
yourself wishing for more. If the band quit tomorrow I would
say it was a success.
Heckler:
You guys have all skateboarded since you were ten. Did skating
come first or the music?