"Can I get a free snowboard out of this?!"

   A couple of issues ago, fellow Heckler staffer and publisher 
Sonny had this cool idea about wanting to do a word association 
thing with Henry Rollins.  I thought the idea would be an 
interesting way to find out what these rock guys are really thinking 
and we talked about making it a regular feature. Unfortunately, Mr. 
Rollins had other ideas about this word association thing and 
refused to let Sonny have the twenty seconds of his time that it 
would have taken to conduct the "interview". Oh well, like we care 
what that guy thinks, anyway, right? 
   A couple of weeks later, I here the Lemonheads are coming to 
town just in time for the next issue. I figured Evan Dando seems 
like kind of a wacky, nutty, free-wheelin' guy and I dig his tunes so 
what the fuck? He might be cool. I made all the arrangements I could 
with his record company, which were pretty minimal since Mr. Dando 
wasn't doing interviews this time around, but they said I could try 
and talk to him at sound check or something. Fair enough.
   I didn't make sound check in time as I was working one of my day 
jobs so I missed Evan and opted for a Flop interview at this time. 
I didn't get to talk to him until after the Lemonheads finished their 
set. I was playing it way low-key and trying to be as unobtrusive as 
possible when I approached him to explain what it was I was trying 
to do. I gave him the spiel that Heckler was a local, independent 
snowboard/skate zine available everywhere cool at no charge and 
that this would take thirty seconds tops. 
   No deal. He wanted to know if he would get a snowboard for doing 
it. (Like he can't afford one himself.-Ed.)
   Ohhhh.kay.,buhhhhbye. 
   I didn't give up though. I went behind the theatre to where he was 
sitting inside his bus. Fortunately, I met up with a couple of kids, 
Will and Jonathan, both 11, I know from one of my day jobs as a 
front desk guy at a family fitness/racquet club. They were back 
there trying to get his autograph or something so I grabbed em', gave 
em' my notebook, told what to do, and pushed em' on the bus. They 
didn't come back for a few minutes so I guessed everything was cool. 
   Wrong. 
   They completely ignored the words I had given them to use 
and decided to use their own. Not that it mattered, but I actually 
spent time thinking of words to use. The following is what they 
came back with. Question Marks mean they forgot what they asked 
him.

-Sean Schroeder

Word Association with Evan

                   Will - Antler
                   Cops - Mushrooms
                Arizona - Desert
    Beavis and Butthead - Spanking
                      ? - Elyses Monmartres
                  Apple - Orange
                      ? - Billy
                 Hawaii - Winona
             Lemonheads - Carl Malden
               Bathroom - Tile
                 Guitar - Ishtar
                    Red - Guitared
              Cigarette - Burn
                Lighter - Marshmellow
                  Knife - Shark
         Faces of Death - Part Two