Monday Night: "Hey, this is Chris, we still want to do an interview
for the next Heckler. We could go ride at Donner and do the
interview at the same time. How about this week?"
A sluggish Shawn Farmer awoke and responded over static cursed
phone lines, "Yeah, let's do it tomorrow. Meet me at the Incline Post
Office in the morning, I got to pay some bills."
It sounded solid. Then the conversation ended with "Sounds cool, I'll
call you from Incline in the morning, or something."
Now it sounded sketchy. Wanting the story to happen for certain I
even considered meeting him that night so I aksed, "What's goin' on
this evening?"
"I think I'm gonna get some chicks tonight, Take a bath and shit."
A relentless reply that set the tone of what was to come...
Tuesday: Our final destination was to hook up with Sonny and
Botch at around 10:00 a.m., Donner Ski Ranch time.
Present: Incline Village time 11:40 a.m., lagging.
I was late (only 10 minutes). I waited, I starved, I retreated to the
nearest food place. A pizza eatery across the way from the Post
Office. I sat near the window and took a bite into a slice of cheese
special. A thrashed looking dark blue Toyota truck pulled up. The "I
Snowboard at Squaw" sticker graced the back window. A glimpse
of a man escaping the vehicle darted across the shopping center.
Farmer!?
I left my food, dashed out the door across the parking lot to stop him
before he slipped away..Eeeerrrgggg! Out of nowhere this huge, white
truck overshadowed me, sliding only inches from my body. I was
pissed! A face with Arnets popped out the side window,
"Hey Chris, what's up?"
It was Farmer. All I could reply in my adrenaline state was,
"Aaah... hey, hows it goin?"
Feeling like a clueless idiot, I took a deep breath. Farmer spieled, "Oh
man, I got all this shit I gotta insure today and I'm goin out of town
tomorrow. My rents late, my truck payments late, you know how it is."
Farmers concern was what I would call casual stress, sort of like if he
had to tighten a loose bolt on his binding. "I still gotta go to my bank
too."
I somehow knew getting to D.S.R. was further away in time than I
planned. So I invited him (and his brown leather pants with a
vertical gold spandex stripe) to have a seat with me and eat a quick
lunch.
We bailed Incline and made our scenic way around the lake to
Shawn's Bank of America in Tahoe City. This was only the first
errand on our agenda. We finally left the Bank at 12:15, "Man, I gotta
get some gas! (Errand #2) It's only a block away."
Carankinn' his bands' new C.D. (Soak- Born To Suffer )
while gassing up, Farm went off- singin' his lyrics out loud:
"Laughin' and drinkin' and smokin' and Jackin'!"
It was a song called Jing Faucet. Farmer was amped.
"Our new C.D sounds so killer! Hey, what's up T.K.!?"
Out of nowhere Terry Kidwell showed up to get gas too.
It was a jubilee! At Shell no less. The gas pump shut down, as a
semi-stressed Farmer voiced errand #3.
"Man I got 600 of these C.Ds sittin' in my house that I need to distribute,
I live right down the street. Let's cruise by there and pick
up some discs to give to John and Sonny."
Before I could nod my head, errand #4 was making it's way on to the
list and it was now early afternoon.
"Man, I gotta' buy my truck insurance before we go ride too."
As we drove, only a few minutes away from Shell, I thought of the
ways I could talk him out of having to buy insurance, at least today.
We were not too far from Tahoe City. As we arrived at his house I
proposed an idea.
"Hey Shawn, if we leave now you can make it back to
Truckee by 5:00p.m. and deal with insurance."
"Yeah, that's cool," he replied.
Stray stacks of finished wood now entered our path as we stumbled
through a subzero temp. garage which Farms' rent covered half of,
"My landlords are doin' some remodeling here today."
This was his homestead. I was introduced to a couple in their mid-
forties; a lady named Shane and a guy named Gene.
Both were the landlords and they seemed pretty levelheaded.
Within minutes I was caught in the middle of a heated conversation.
The debate concerned the efficiency of the ceiling in the small,
downstairs living quarters, which was today's carpentry project.
The question: Why such an ice box?
Farmer vented his theory, "Yeah, I think a lot of the cold air
drafts come from that stairwell," as he pointed towards our entrance
point.
In a curious carefree manner, Shane suddenly replied, "Oh yeah,
where is the door that was on there?"
(Farmer in a whispery low voice), "Uuhh, I broke it off."
(Everyone erupted in laughter) HHahahahaha! (including both
landlords).
Gene then asked curiously, "So how did you break it off, Shawn?"
"Uuhh ...... I rode my snowboard down the stairs and grabbed on to
the door so I wouldn't fall over."
Everyone laughed again as Shane made a humorous remark, "What
were you on, besides the snowboard?"
Farmer reacted, "I just got kind of out of control, I guess, hahhaha."
Then things got heavy fast. Farmer had been out of town a lot and
missed the landlords. Kinda missed the boat to give them some rent
money. Here's a transcript:
Gene: "Did you finally get your check? You know you've been late on
the rent two out of the three months that you have been here,
maybe you need a roommate!"
Farmer (stressed): "I can afford to pay the rent,
I've just had a lean period. I got in trouble in San Diego.
I had to give some money to the cops. It's like that takes
priority over everything, cause it keeps me out of jail!"
Gene: "I hear you, but payin' the rent is a priority because
it keeps you here!"
Farmer (totally stressed): "You were supposed
to have this ceiling insulated months ago,
the T.V. upstairs sounds like a loud stereo down here, and
I can't even hang out down here cause it's so damn cold!
I've been seriously inconvenienced, I insulated all of this ceiling
by myself and my time's worth money, if I go out on a photo shoot,
I get a $150.00 a day!"
Shane: "I'm sorry, but I told you that I was gonna be gone for a
month, so doing this job got delayed. I never got a response from you
Shawn, you've been very hard to get a hold of. You don't have a
phone you don't have a phone machine!"
Farmer: "Well, I'm gonna get all that hooked up.. soon."
Shane: "I'll wave the late charges and give you credit for the work
you did do. So If you pay Gene the rest of the rent by Friday, I'll be
gone, that will work."
It was resolved, at least for the time being.
Grraaaacjckc!.. Almost tripping over boards, we made our way
through the garage, through the pieces of wood.
Farmer started talking, "What a hassle, I should just move out! Naw,
I don't wanna go through first and last months rent, movin' all my
shit."
I added insult to injury, "Why don't you get a roommate like they
said?"
Farmer said, "I don't wanna move in with some fuckhead! But I got
this one guy I want to move in, he's from back East.. who I want to
start a business with. He's got a computer he knows all that shit, he's
good at business, I think."
"What business are you gonna do with him?," I asked.
"I don't know, I'll start with T-shirts, maybe sell these things."
Farmer handed me the new SOAK C.D.
"This is the shit! Let's head up."
It was only a matter of time before we would get to Donner.
Time? Only 1:15 p.m.
I was driving, checkin' out the new Snowave shop at the entrance to
Squaw Valley. I almost rear-ended Farmers truck! He suddenly hit
the brakes to pick up a young, nubile female hitchhiker. He was now
behind me in the en route to Truckee. As I hit the turn signal to
enter the freeway on-ramp I glanced in the rear view mirror. Farmer
went straight, right into Truckee! All I could hope was that he would
show at Donner and not cheese.
Almost cresting the Summit, about a half mile from the Boreal exit,
I noticed a white truck travelling about 80 mph to catch up with me.
Wow, he shined the hitchhikin' girl or she shined him. Rad! We were
gonna make it to the Ranch.
The necessities were done to get on the hill. By chance we hooked up
with Tim Manning and Jason Pata, they were a chair in front of us.
On the lift, Manson, I mean Farmer, started whispering, "There's
a lot of ccrrraaaazzzyy people around hheeerree."
"You told the hitchhiker girl that?," I asked.
"Yeah, she was gettin' all nervous and shit hehehe.. Hey Tim, the
Lake was pumpin' waves last week during that storm! Did you surf
it?"
Manning replied, "No, but Hatchett did."
Farmer then stated to me, "I like to surf, but I ride a longboard
usually."
Suddenly he threw his arms in the air, with a smirk on his face,
"Dude, I want a businesswomen for a roommate, one who will just
fuck me sometimes. Yeah, that's what I need!"
As I laughed my head off, the conversation suddenly turned to
music. "Our band rocks! Check that C.D., put it on. You got to turn it all
the fuckin' way up to hear how good the quality is!"
Bewildered, I ask, "How many tracks did you record it on?"
Farmer said, "Twenty four tracks, old school-two inch. It's the best for
live bands, guitars and shit, analog is the best!"
Vvvrooooooo..
Suddenly the lift stops. Thirty seconds pass. Farmer humorously yells,
"Common, Jesus Christ.. were gonna go get our money back!..Jump off
Pata-there's a little tranny right under you!"
Pata pauses.. ready to jump, the chair starts up again.
We eventually get off the windy chair and buckle in. Manning and
Pata are riding with us this run. Standing up on his board, Farmer
babbles, "Yeah, my landlords are putting up tongue and groove board
on my ceiling today."
Manning asked, "Why aren't you helping them?"
Farmer shot back, "I don't have time for that man, I'm out here
riding today! HAHAHAHAHA....."
Everyone laughs.
( FARMER LAUGHS DIFFERENT: HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA )
Heads shakin' we drop in for first tracks.. it's 2:00 p.m.
-Chris Carnel Sean Sullivan PhotoSonny: Farmer....
Farmer: Owwww! Woooo!!! What up, hottie?!
S: Checkin' out a hotty. So what's up?
F: What up?
S: Ummm, been riding all day. Pretty much over it. A little tired.
F: I got a late start, man. Had to pay a lot of bills. I'm leaving
tomorrow going to- my band Soak is playing in Denver.
S: What's up with the band?
F: We don't get together too often; we just do shows mostly. And then
those guys still practice and shit all the time and they live in Denver.
And me and Hale, Jim Hale, we just show up and practice for a
couple days and we do shows. Make a little money.
S: Do you really?
F: We're gonna pay for the trip at least.
S: You guys gonna do any tours or anything?
F: We'd like to someday, but I have to keep snowboarding. That's my
whole main deal you know. My sponsors are getting mad at me; I
was fucking with the band too much.
S: Who's getting pissed?
F: Like Quick and stuff. Like telling me I need to quit with this
rockstar shit and start snowboarding.
S: Any labels interested in the project?
F: I don't know man. I need like a promoter or something.
S: You guys don't have a manager?
F: I got six hundred CD's sitting in my house, just sitting there.
Fall Line was supposed to put an ad in their ad for my CD, but they
never did.
S: You doing any traveling?
F: Going to France, probably, I don't know probably Alaska and shit
like that. Hang at Squaw a lot.
S: What do you do besides snowboarding?
F: I was doing some motocross over the summer 'til my bike got
repossessed cause I don't pay for it. But I'm into moto and I kinda
like that now. It's good for airs and stuff. I like to surf a lot even
though I'm not that good, I just like it.
F: Where you riding man?
Mike Hatchett: I was thinking- we've been cutting runs just over
the top right here, it's a little bit cheesy at the top, a couple icy turns,
but then there's some nice- it's all skied out but you can really get an
edge on it.
F: I skate a little bit.
John: Not a lot?
F: I'm not that good dude. I can't ollie good, or nothing.
J: Do you skate ramps and stuff, though? Hook up with Chris and do
some ramp shots.
S: Dude we have ramps in the studio when you come down..
J: Yeah we have a quarter pipe-
F: Yeah I'll come and just check it out. I don't know about getting
shots. So you guys are located down in Sacto?
J: Yeah downtown.
S: You down with HecklerBrau?
F: Yeah, I'm down with it man, since it's beer and shit.
S: You like drinking? Who you drinking with?
F: I drink a little bit. With Palm, Holmes, Heckler...
S: So you going to get car insurance?
F: Yeah this things not insured dude. My whole life's fucked up right
now. Fuckin' rent was late, car insurance isn't paid, fuckin' bank's
trippin' on the car insurance that isn't paid, car payment's late, it's
cause my checks are all late. Tried to renegotiate everything; signed
some new papers in November and that just backed everything up.
J. Accountants, they're the worst!!!
S: What are your other sponsors besides K2?
F: Quicksilver, is one of my main ones, K2, Arnet, fuckin'
Da Kine flows me some stuff.
S: So you going to be competing at all this year?
F: I don't know. I might do some Boardercross or something. I'm
definitely going to do that King of the Hill thing.
S: Did you place in that last year?
F: Actually I got tenth.
S: That's right, you guys played the party.
F: You know, my band was up there and we played every night, five
nights in a row. Drank whiskey every night and I was trying to fuck
with the band and do that contest and everything and it just got
hectic.
S: Doing the whole rockstar bit.
F: Yeah, I was just so burnt. I don't know the board I was riding, I
didn't... Ah, it doesn't matter it was still fun. Freeriding up there is
better than anywhere.
S: That's what Noah was saying. He said freeriding in Alaska is the
best ever.
F: It's the best. It's fun, every place is fun, but it's just so good there.
There's so much air. Big ol' wind lips, get one of your bro's to go spot
it and they're just like, "Yeah! Just hit it!" Flying dude, it's so big.
S: So you got a girlfriend or are you just a player?
F: I'm a player. I'm not even a player, dude. I wish I was. I had a
girlfriend but we kinda broke up. I dunno, we'll see...(Quiet solemn pause)
S: You know. It all just goes around. So what are you doing tonight?
gettin' insurance and then what? Just chillin'? Go home and crash.
Where do you live?
F: Near Tahoe City. Until I get evicted. My landlord. We always go
back and forth about everything. There's no ceiling in my house,
there's rafters. And I hung all the insulation.
S: Did they pay you for it?
F: They paid me 80 bucks. I wanted $200.
S: So who goes about negotiations with all your sponsors?
F: I do.
S: Do you like doing it yourself?
F: It's alright.
S: Do you feel like you're getting a good deal or is the industry
fucking you over?
F: No, I'm feeling pretty good about my situation. It's just that I'm
getting to the age where I'd like to have something more going for
myself. I'd like to have a house. I'm looking forward to a fat season!
J: How old are you?
F: 29. Gonna be 30 pretty soon. Still gonna bust out!
S: I heard you were heckling all the films at the ASR Show. How
come? Tell me the real reason why too.
F: I don't know. It's probably because I wasn't in 'em. But also cause
I like talking shit. Me and Richie Fowler, you know Richie Fowler?
S: Uh huh.
F: Loudmouth kid from Alaska. He loves to talk shit too. When I get
around him we live to slander everything. It's just for fun, but some
people might take it personally.
S: When all your snowboard sponsorship is done, what do you want
to do?
F: I'd like to have some business of my own. Maybe I'd like to do
music. I just wanna have my own thing going and not be so
dependent on other people, but I'm stoked on things now.
S: Good luck going to get insurance.
F: (From his truck cab, driving out of Donner) Yeah, I was down in
H.B. and the cops pulled me over and I had a little Glock behind the
seat. They searched the car, took it and charged me a $1000 in bills.
It sucked! It wasn't like I was brandishing it or anything. That's why
I'm late on my payments.Anyway, thanks guys. Later!
******LISTEN TO FARMER AND WIN A FREE CD******
You can hear a special 30 second edit remix of Farmer's band Soak
by calling the Heckler Voice Mail System @ (916)763-3820
Or, click here for Macintosh (.aiff) 252k
or click here for PC (.wav) 247k
This edit cannot be heard anywhere else. This is a free phone call,
except for the long distance charges if you live outside the 916 area code.
After you listen to the Soak remix, clearly leave your name, address and
phone number, a message for Farmer and/or Heckler and then do
your best imitation of an animal sound. The five best animal sound
makers will win a free CD, and the best messages will be printed in
the next issue of Heckler. After that if you decide that you like the CD
so much that you can't wait to find out if you're a winner, then call
Fall Line Films at 916-582-9144 and they'll hook you up in exchange
for some dollars.