By Brad Oates
Photos By Andrea Rigano
Turbonegro
By Brad Oates
Photos By Andrea Rigano
| If being descended from Vikings and writing Norwegian
punk rock masterpieces about good head, ballads about erections, and other
erotic mumblings, all the while controlling the denim underworld, wasn’t
enough you can now toss bear tamer somewhere into the mix of frozen tundra
controlled by the avant garde neo-rock sailor men known as Turbonegro.
Just ask Hank Van Helvete, the front and center demon of denim for Turbonegro,
and only member currently on the Norwegian neo-Nazi death list who was
able to soothe the savage bestiality of a black bear into a submissive
state, as all on lookers looked on slack jawed as the bear made a mockery
of the video shoot for “Fuck The World.” From the safety of his home in
Norway, Happy Tom, the original gangsta of bass and all that is Turbonegro
sanctity, breaks it down for us, the concerned fan when he states, “It
was a pretty big bear. Nobody got hurt. Just mental scars. We’re working
through it.”
For a band that has overcome their own demise in an Italian Psychiatric ward, death threats, staples in the cranium, being loathed by their own press, and surrounded by a mysterious shroud of denim, darkness, and death-punk, grumpy little bears from the forest are just a slight obstacle in the way towards global acceptance of the denim shrouded sailor men. Having just completed their second American tour, playing to packed concert halls every night, “No, no, no. We didn’t make any money, we broke even” states Tom, Turbonegro came, conquered, and lead singer Hank Helvete managed to launch a few pyrotechnics out of his ass. Clarifying the magnitude of Hank’s pyrotechnical skills, Tom downplayed the magnitude when he said, “Hank does them and they aren’t really ass crackers, they’re just little sparklers.” Flaming butt cannons aside, I asked Tom how the tour was besides Hank getting his head stapled shut to prevent more blood loss and he said, “Incredible,” And then I asked him if bullets had flown freely at Turbonegro shows and he said, “Yeah, once,” Whew, and all the while you just thought studio gangsta rap was dangerous? Turbonegro’s roadee was once charged with murder. This happened on their first American tour, so I am sure their second tour was much more enjoyable and relaxing, statistically nobody has been reported dead in America from Turbonegro festivities in 2003. When I asked him where his roadee’s luck ran out, Tom told me, “Sacramento.” Holy shit, my hometown is intricately linked to the most evil band in the world forever? Somebody give me a god damn high five, or tell me to move, or something like that. Descended from Vikings to rock the world in a shroud of denim, darkness, and insanity, smaller more feeble bands would quiver and fold under the magnitude of shit Turbonegro has had to overcome. Turbonegro has triumphed, persevered, and imploded, only to emerge from the abyss bigger and badder than ever before. Brad: After All these years of eating shit do you feel what goes around comes around? Tom: I guess so.
www.turbonegro.com
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